The adventures of Tim Peterson
by abcdinoman
Summary: a humorus action story about runescape, except there are a few types of modern technology.
1. Prolouge

The adventures of Tim Peterson

**Prologue**

This is the story of a person named Tim Peterson. He was born in Fallador. He was a smart person, too.

We will begin his tale when he was 10. His mother had sent him to the store to buy a few groceries. She had also told him to ask for "the shipment". He was told not to open it.

As he entered the store he saw a few people who weren't familiar. He got the groceries and as he paid for them he asked for "the package". He got it and left.

While he walked home, he passed an alley. Inside the alley, two eyes were spying on him.


	2. chapter 1: so it begins

**Chapter 1**

When Tim got home, he gave his mom the stuff. "Thank you Tim, have a cookie," said his mom. His mom was tall. She had long blonde hair, beautiful blue eyes, and a slender body. Tim loved her very much even though she was a complete air-head.

Later that day, Tim was playing outside of his house, when he heard a high pitched scream from inside. He rushed inside to see what was wrong. As he came in he saw a hooded man stab his mom with a red dagger that had a green substance on it. His mom fell to the floor, dead. "Mom!" he yelled.

"Your next!" said the cloaked man as he rushed at Tim.

Suddenly Tim's dad flew out of nowhere and took the blow. His father staggered backwards slightly, then he grabbed a saber that had been hanging over the mantelpiece and killed the cloaked man with one blow. Then he fell to the ground. Tim rushed up to his dad. "Dad," said Tim, "who was that guy?"

"He was one of the Saber Tooth Gang," his dad replied. "You must take the package and run… don't open… it until you… are far away."

With that Tim's father died. Tears were streaming down Tim's face. He grabbed the package off of the counter and made a mad dash for the city gates. He went through and kept on running. Ka-boom! Behind him fallador exploded!


	3. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

When Tim was far away from fallador, he stopped and sat down under a large tree. He looked at a cow pasture. He saw a man with a bucket hanging from a metal pole with a cow laying upside-down under the bucket. The man was squeezing air under the bucket.

"What are you doing?" yelled Tim.

"I'm milking the bucket!" the man replied.

"You're supposed to milk the cow! Not the stupid bucket!" yelled Tim.

"You're mean!" yelled the man.

The man picked up the cow and lifted it over his head. He threw the cow at Tim. Tumble! Tumble!

"Oh, crap!" yelled Tim.

The cow was rolling down the hill very quickly. As Tim ran from the cow he passed a guard in a police carriage. The guard checked Tim's speed, it was under the limit.

"Nothing illegal there- hey! That cow is speeding!" said the cop.

Whee-ooo! Whee-ooo! The carriage took off. Tim's heart was beating really fast. He was tripping over everything from rocks to vermin. Tumble! Tumble! He heard the guard yell:

"Hey! Look out! That cow is-"

But that was all he heard before- wham! – the cow hit him. He felt pain all over his body as darkness closed in on him…


	4. chapter 3

Chapter 3

Tim began to wake up a couple hours later. He heard music playing somewhere nearby. He opened his and saw he was in a room with white walls, a couple of charts on the wall, and a little silver beeping thing in the corner. He turned his head to the side.

"Holy crap!" yelled Tim.

He saw a big fuzzy teddy bear that kept on saying a very annoying high pitched: "I love you!"

Tim jumped up and started to walk, he took 3 steps and he dropped down to the floor. He realized he had been in a bed.

"Ow…" he muttered.

He stood up and went to a table next to the bed and saw a knife on the table. There was a note attached to it. He picked up the note a read it. It said: _"Sorry about the annoying teddy bear. Use this knife to make it shut up."_

Tim put the note down and picked up the knife. He walked over to the bear and stabbed it in the stomach with the knife. He sliced the voice box in two. He noticed there was something in the bear. He picked it up and shook it up-side down. Out fell a key and 1k.

"Okay… that explains why it was so fat…"

He scooped up the coins and put them in his pocket. He picked up the key and stared at it. Then he got an idea.

"Here goes nothing," He said to himself.

He walked over to the beeping thing and stuck the key in it.

Suddenly a door appeared on the wall and it opened. A man walked in.

"Well Tim, it's good to see you are feeling better," said the man.

"Who are you?" asked Tim.

"You'll find out soon…" replied the man.


	5. chapter 4

Chapter 4

Meanwhile, in the Saber Tooth gang hideout, the leader was in his private office. He was doing something on his computer.

"It's time to watch the Happy Bunny show!" said the computer.

One of his minions walked in to give him a report. The leader didn't notice him standing there.

"Excuse me sir, are you watching the Happy Bunny show?" the minion asked.

"Huh… oh… umm… no… no I'm not," replied the leader.

"Sir, the troops are ready to attack the enemy!" said the minion.

"Good… muahahahahahahaha!" said the leader.

-----------------------------------------------------

Meanwhile the man was explaining to Tim where he was.

"You are in area 58, as we like to call it. I knew your father well. Did he give you a package once?" said the man.

"Yes, he gave me a package before he died…" said Tim.

"Open it." the man said.

Tim pulled the package out of his pocket. He untied the string and opened the package. There was a transparent dagger in the wrapping paper.

"What is it?" Tim asked.

"It is an extremely rare dagger. It has an extremely deadly stab, plus it allows the carrier to use just about every spell there is…maybe even ones that don't exist…" said the man.

"Cool!" exclaimed Tim.

The man led Tim to a large shack. They went inside, and the man pulled some weapons off of a rack. He handed them to Tim.

"Here you go. 1 willow long bow, 30 mithril arrows, a rune long sword, full rune armor, and a rune kite shield."

"Thanks!" said Tim.

They left the shack.

"Now will you tell me what your name is?" Tim asked.

"My name is-" the man started to say.

Whoosh! The man fell to his knees, an arrow protruding through his neck. He fell to the ground dead (sounds familiar, doesn't it?). Suddenly men in armor were running everywhere. Whoosh! Whoosh! Whoosh! Whoosh! Whoosh! (Err... you get the point…)

_Here goes nothing..._ Tim thought as he grabbed a wooden pole and attempted to use it to vault up to where the attacks were. Thud!

"Who put the wall there?" he said, "Hey, wait a second… shouldn't I be falling?"

He looked down and saw something really weird… he was floating!


	6. chapter 5

**Author's note: Sorry about the wait… I sort of got a writer's** **block.**

Chapter 5

In the Saber Tooth gang base, the leader was walking down a long hallway. One of his minions came up to him and saluted.

"Sir, there is something you might want to see…" the minion said.

"What is it?" asked the leader.

"There is something wrong with the attack on Area 58!" replied the minion.

The minion led him to a door and opened it. Inside there was a man in a shower.

"Do you mind?" yelled the man.

"Whoops! Wrong door! Sorry!" exclaimed the minion.

The minion led the leader to another door. He opened it and they entered. There were a bunch of screens on the wall. The minion showed the leader one of them. On it, a kid was flying through the air and destroying the attackers.

"I thought you killed that kid along with everyone else in fallador!" yelled the leader.

"We did too." said the minion.

"Abort plan A, activate plan B!" said the leader.

Meanwhile as Tim swung his sword at on of the attackers, the man strangely faded and disappeared. Tim stared in bewilderment as the rest of the attackers did the same.

"What the heck?" he said as he lowered himself to the ground.

The he began to survey the damage that had been done.

**Author's note: Sorry about the short chapter. I think my writers block is gone though.**


	7. Chapter 6 things get strange

Chapter 6

_This dagger sure does some cool stuff, _Tim thought as he checked out the damage to Area 58. _Hey! Why is there cheese everywhere on the ground?_ He wondered. He picked up a piece of cheese and was examining it when a big (no make that huge, oh wait make that gigantic) rat came out of a hole in the ground.

"Gurgle! Gurgle! Snort! Snort! Slobber! Slobber! Barf! Barf!" it said.

"What?" Tim said.

"Gurgle! Gurgle! Snort! Snort! Slobber! Slobber! Barf! Barf!" it repeated.

"Shut up!" Tim said.

At this the rat got mad, and it attacked Tim. Too bad the rat wasn't very smart. Tim swung his sword and chopped the rat's head off. Tim turned to walk away, when he heard:

"You jerk! That wasn't fair! How come you get to kill me so easily, yet I can't harm you at all?"

Tim turned and saw the head of the rat he had just killed talking to him. Tim rolled his eyes.

"Whatever," he said as he walked away.

After Tim searched for a while, he discovered no survivors, except the stupid rat, which was still talking to him. He got frustrated and left.

As he walked down the road he saw a group of people, talking to each other. Tim thought it sounded different for the normal way of talking, and when he listened he realized there was something wrong. The people were talking like this:

"Hey! What r u 2 selling?" said one person.

"Nothing. Let's go 2 wildly 2 kill some n00bs!" said another person.

"I g2g! C u 2 guys l8er!" said the last person.

"Why are you talking like that?" asked Tim.

The people burst out laughing.

"Ha! Ha! U n00b!"

Meanwhile, at the Saber Tooth gang base, the leader was laughing evilly.

"Yes! Plan B is working! Muahahahahahahaha!"


	8. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Tim continued walking down the road. He stopped to read a signpost, when a man with a mask and a cape on jumped out in front of him.

"I am a highway man! Fear me! Muahahahahahahaha! Uh… I mean… uh… um… just give me the money!" said the man.

Tim punched the highway man in the chest, thoroughly winding him. The man fell down in pain, got up, and ran into a barb wire fence that was nearby. Tim picked up a rock and threw it at the highway man.

"That'll teach you," said Tim as he walked away.

Later, as Tim was walking down the road, he saw a large city.

"I wonder what that city is?" he said.

He looked at his surroundings. He saw nothing unusual. Well except some guy running around screaming something about evil purple hamsters attacking.

"He must have had too much beer…" said Tim.

Tim entered the city. He walked up to some one and asked: "What is this place?"

"This is Varrock u n00b!" the person replied.

Tim went to the Blue Moon Inn and rented a room. He went in and sat down on the bed. _Flash!_ Suddenly there was a cloaked man standing in front of him.

"Hi!" said the cloaked the man, "Take this! Good bye!"

And with that, the man was gone. Tim looked at what the man had given him. It was a small box. He opened it. Before he knew it, he was in a dark room.

"**_Tim Peterson!" _**said a voice.

"What the heck? Who's there? Where am I!" said Tim.

"_**You'll find out soon enough! Now, listen! Runescape is going to be attacked and taken over by evil purple hamster!"**_

"And you brought me here, why?"

"_**You have been brought here because you are the only one who can stop these hamsters!"**_

"I am?"

"_**Yes! Do you have any sense of drama!"**_

"No, not really,"

"_**Oh great…"**_

"What?"

"_**You're so un-dramatic! I me- look! We're wasting time! You have to stop the hamsters!"**_

"Uh… ok…"

"_**Go! Stop them!"**_

"Um… I'll try…"

_Flash! _Tim landed in his bed. Suddenly, he heard a scream.

**Author's note: I hope you enjoyed the chapter.**


	9. chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I do not own Jagex or runescape or blah! Blah! blah!**

Chapter 8

Tim looked out his window and saw a little purple hamster bite someone. The person collapsed. Tim ran to the chest in his room and pulled it open. He pulled out his armor and sword, equipped them and the locked the chest.

He ran outside and looked around. The hamster came up and tried to bite his leg, but the armor blocked it. Tim swung his sword and sliced the hamster in two. Purple stuff flew every where.

"Easy," said Tim.

Suddenly there was squeaking every where! An army of little purple hamster marched in. they charged at Tim, only to be killed by his sword. **Boom! Boom!** Tim turned around and saw an 80 pound purple hamster approaching him. Tim held his weapon and shield in defensive position. The hamster charged! It rammed into Tim's shield, knocking it from his hand.

"Crap!" said Tim.

Tim swung his sword at the hamster, only to scratch it. The hamster knocked the sword out of Tim's hand, and then knocked of his helmet. Tim fell to the ground. The hamster was a bout to bite Tim's neck when, **Zip! **, an arrow struck though the hamster's head. It fell down, dead.

**Authors note: Short chapter, but I hope you enjoyed it.**


	10. Chapter 9 exploding nachos?

**Disclaimer: I do not own Runescape, Jagex, or zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz……. **

Chapter 9

Tim stood up and looked around. Varrock looked deserted.

"I must have passed out," He said.

He looked at the hamster that had almost killed him. Then he turned around and picked up his stuff. He went back to his room at the inn, opened the chest and put his stuff in it, then sat down on his bed.

He noticed a book and a note on the table. He began to read the note. It read:

_Next time you're battling an 80 lb. hamster, be more careful! By the way, don't think you won't hear from me again!_

Tim picked up the book and opened it. It was blank. He looked at the back of the note and found that it was a journal. _Whoosh! Shatter! Clunk! Clunk! Hiss! Hiss! _A small box of nachos landed on the floor. Tim picked it up. He opened it and among the nachos there was a blue ring that was glowing with some sort of magic.

"_This box of cheesy, scrumptious, and delicious nachos will self destruct in **10 seconds!"**_ said the box of nachos.

"Crap!" yelled Tim.

He grabbed his stuff and jumped from the window. He began to fall!

"_**10"**_

"_**9"**_

"_**8"**_

"_**7"**_

"_**6"**_

"_**5"**_

"_**4"**_

"_**3"**_

"_**2"**_

"_**1"**_

"_**1/2"**_

"_**1/3"**_

"_**0! Have a nice day!"**_

**Ka-boom!**

Right before the flames hit Tim; he pulled out the dagger and yelled:

"Teleport to Lumbridge!"

Suddenly there was a purple flash and he found him self in Lumbridge.

**Authors note: I hope you enjoyed this chapter!**


	11. chapter 10

**Disclaimer: I do not own Runescape, Jagex, or- oh forget it…**

Chapter 10

Tim looked around. Lumbridge seemed almost deserted.

"Hmmm…" said Tim.

Clank! Clank! Clunk! Shatter! Tim looked in the direction of the noises and heard:

Wham! Dong! Wham! Dong!

"Get back! Back I say!" he heard someone yell.

He ran into the castle and then into the kitchen. He saw the cook holding a pot and swinging it at a hamster.

"No! You will never get my cake, you fiend!" yelled the cook.

Tim notched an arrow into his bow and shot it through the hamster.

"Thank you!" exclaimed the cook, "you saved my cake!"

"Uh… somehow, I don't think it wanted the cake…" muttered Tim.

"It didn't?" asked the cook.

"No, it wanted to kill you!" said Tim.

"Oh," said the cook.

"Why haven't you evacuated?" asked Tim.

"Oh… well, I fell asleep while I was watching a battle between a squirrel and a bunny…" replied the cook.

Suddenly 2 80 lb. hamsters smashed though the wall. Tim spotted a bottle of mouth wash. He grabbed his dagger and cast telekinetic grab on the bottle. He opened it and splashed it in the two hamsters' eyes. The hamsters' eyes began to water, and the two hamsters fled.

"Let's get out of here!" said Tim.


	12. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: I do not own Runescape, Jagex, or Yak! Yak! Yak!**

Chapter 11

Tim and the cook ran. After a while they stopped and sat down under a tree. Tim pulled out his journal and began to write in it. After he wrote for a while, he looked down the road and saw a big building.

"Let's go take a look at that building," said Tim.

They stood up and walked up to it. On the door there was a sign that read: "Evacuation refugees stay here."

"You had better stay in here," said Tim.

"Thanks for saving me," said the cook.

"No problem," said Tim, "I guess it's what I do."

Later, Tim was walking down the road. He began to wonder who had saved him in Varrock.

"Hey!" someone whispered, "Over here!"

Tim walked to where he had heard the voice. He saw a person squatting behind a tree.

"Who are you?" asked Tim.

"I'm the person who saved your sorry butt in Varrock" said the person.

"Oh," said Tim, "What's your name?"

"My name is Toby," the person said.

"Uh… Nice to meet you," Tim said as they shook hands.


	13. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: I don't own Jagex, Runescape, or- oh forget it!**

Chapter 12

At the Saber Tooth gang base, the leader was talking to his second in command.

"We must destroy that boy," said the leader, "deploy the killing team!"

"Yes sir!" said the second in command.

Tim and Toby were telling each other about their lives. Toby's story was kind of like Tim's life. Suddenly a guy in a ninja suit and two swords jumped out of a tree.

"Hi ya!" he said.

Then about eleven more people came out of the shadows. They all had cross bows and swords.

"You are surrounded! Prepare to be killed!" said one.

"Before you kill us, let us say a thing," said Tim.

"What?"

"A thing!" Tim and Toby yelled as they barged through a row of people.

"They tricked us! After them!"

When Tim and Toby heard this they did what anyone normal would do. They screamed and ran for their life. They hid in an old, but conveniently placed, abandoned shed. After they pursuers had passed, they turned around.

"Uh, Tim," said Toby, "I don't think this is any regular old, but conveniently placed, abandoned shed."

"I've got a hunch that you're right…"

"This is a T.N.T. storage shed!"

"It has matches too! How convenient…"

"My mom told me never to play with fire," Toby said as he picked up a stick of T.N.T.

"I don't think this will count as "playing" with fire," said Tim.

Later, the pursuers were searching for the two boys, when Tim appeared down the road.

"Hey! You idiots! Come and get me!"

"Get him!"

They charged at Tim, who threw a bundle of red sticks at them. When the reached the red sticks, the last thing they heard was:

**Ka-Boom!**

**Author's note: I hope you liked the chapter. Please R&R.**


	14. Chapter 13: Send in the idiot dancers

**Disclaimer: I do not own Jagex, Runescape, the dancing geezer, or any of the other copyrighted or trade marked things that I might use.**

Chapter 13

Tim and Toby began walking through the wreckage from the explosion and continued down the path…

One hour later, they walked into Draynor village. Oddly, there were only two people in sight.

"Where is everyone?" Tim asked.

"I don't know, but- hey, do you hear that?" said Toby.

Tim listened for a few seconds, and then heard a low rumbling noise. It began to get louder, and louder.

"Wait a second, look out!!" Tim yelled as he jumped on top of Toby.

**Smash!!** Bricks and shattered glass flew everywhere as a large red bus rammed through the wall of one of the houses. It swerved into the market place and smashed most of the stalls. The door opened and a bald guy with glasses stepped out. Suddenly music began playing and the guy started to dance like a total idiot.

"Crap it's the dancing geezer!!" Toby yelled.

"Oh no! Not the crazed mob of dancing people!" Tim exclaimed, _trample _"Ow!" _trample _"Ow!" _trample _"Ow! Ow!"

"Dance party!" Someone yelled.

"Hey, I think there's someone in that bus," said Tim, "Wait a second; the windows are rolling down and…" Tim's voice trailed off.

"Get inside the bank! There's a dwarf cannon in the bus!" Toby exclaimed.

**Bang! Zing!** A cannon ball whizzed past Tim's ear as he dashed for the bank. The cannon began firing at the dancers.

"What are we going to do?" asked Tim.

"I got an idea," said Toby. He pulled a round red ball with a green wick on it from his pocket.

"You have a cherry bomb? Where the heck did you get a cherry bomb?" said Tim.

"I found it in that dynamite shed," said Toby, "Anyway, you need to sneak up to the bus, open the gas cap, light the cherry bomb, and roll it down the chute so it will blow up the gas tank,"

"And what are you going to do?"

"I'll cause a distraction,"

Toby stepped out into the market place, and began to yell at the bald geezer.

"You stink at dancing! You look like you haven't bathed in three weeks!"

"What did you just say?" said the geezer.

"I said you stink at dancing!"

"How dare you?!"

"You look like a 100 year old penguin!"

"That's it! You're going down!"

The geezer leapt up into the air and back-flipped down through a sun roof in the bus. Dwarf cannons poked out of all the side windows and pointed forward. And just when Toby thought it was done, a panel on the top of the bus slid open and a giant cannon rose out of it. **Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!** Toby barely dodged the cannon balls. The canons fired again. _Zing-crack!_

"Aaugh, it hit my hand!!" Toby yelled in pain.

Meanwhile, Tim snuck up to the bus and opened the gas cap. He lit the cherry bomb and tossed it in. Then, he ran around to the other side of the bus and grabbed a wooden post from one of the smashed stalls.

As this was happening the geezer was too distracted to notice.

"You know, you could really hurt someone,"

The geezer turned his head toward the voice.

"Like this!!"

_Wham!_ Tim swung the post into the geezer's face.

"Yow!" screamed the geezer as he fell over in the seat.

Tim looked into the bus and saw rockets and fireworks inside.

"What is with this guy? Never mind, I have to get out of here,"

Tim grabbed Toby's hand… um, the other hand Tim… and ran out of Draynor.

Meanwhile, in Port Sarim, some people were talking. **_Boom!_** Everyone there turned their heads in the direction of Draynor. The remains of a large bus flew up in the air, and then crashed back down.


	15. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: I do not own Jagex, Runescape, or any other copyrighted or trademarked things I might use.**

Chapter 14

A few minutes later, Tim stopped running. He turned around and pulled out his dagger.

"Heal," he said. The dagger began to glow, and then a beam flew out and hit Toby's hand, instantly healing it.

"Thanks," said Toby.

"No problem, hey do you hear something?" said Tim.

"Actually I do hear something," said Toby, "I hear a low rumbling."

"Crap!!" Tim exclaimed, "That's never good!"

"What?" Toby asked, "How do you know this?"

"Don't you ever read books?" asked Tim, "Let's get out of here!"

Then, from out of nowhere, a large group of humongous purple hamsters appeared, headed straight for Tim and Toby.

"Uh, did they just poof into existence?" Tim wondered aloud.

"Tim, I hate to break it to you, but this is not the time for that!" exclaimed Toby, "Run!!"

They took off, running as fast as they could, with the hamsters close behind.

"They're getting closer to us!" Toby exclaimed after he turned his head to look.

Tim and Toby skidded to a halt, stopping barely 2 inches away from the edge of a cliff!

"That wasn't there a second ago," said Tim.

"Hey, let's use that staircase over there to get down the cliff," said Toby.

"That wasn't there either," said Tim.

Toby scooped up two pieces of metal.

"We'll use these to grind down the railing on the staircase," said Toby.

"Where is all this stuff coming from?" asked Tim.

"I have no idea," Toby responded, "Come on!"

Toby ran toward the railing, jumped up, slid the piece of metal under his feet, and landed on the railing, leaving a trail of sparks. Tim attempted to do the same, but before he could land on the railing, the piece of metal flew out from underneath him. Tim's feet hit the railing and he lost his balance. He slipped forward and landed on his stomach.

"Ow! Ow! Ow! The railing is making friction! Ow!" yelled Tim.

Tim turned his head and saw that he was getting closer and closer to Toby, and the trail of sparks.

"Not good!" he exclaimed.

There was a crackling noise, and then _whoosh_ Tim's clothing caught on fire from the sparks!

"Ow! I'm on fire! Ow!"

Toby spun around on the piece of metal he was standing on and saw that Tim was on fire. Then he randomly pulled a fire extinguisher from his pocket and began hosing Tim down with it.

"Uh, Toby," Tim said, "How is it possible that you're grinding down a railing and using a high pressure fire extinguisher at the same time?"

"Because, this is a fiction story where… uh, I mean… Whoa!" Toby replied as he fell off of the piece of metal.

He crashed into the Stairs and started tumbling down them. The piece of metal that he had been standing on crashed into Tim, who slipped of the railing and began tumbling down too.

After about three hours, or maybe just three minuets, they thudded onto the ground. Tim stood up and looked around.

"I think we got away from them," he said, "Or not, I hear the rumbling again."

"I know what we must do!" exclaimed Toby, "We must go…"-dramatic pause- "to the shopping mall!"

"Why would we go there?" asked Tim.

"I have no clue," Toby replied.

With that, they ran to the mall for some reason that no one could truly understand.


	16. Chapter 15: The mall

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the copyrighted, trademarked, patented, or any other type of legal ownership titles that I might use.**

**Author's note: Sorry I haven't updated my story recently, I hope to post more chapters soon.**

Chapter 15

Shopping malls can be very crazy at times. For example, when there is a seventy-five percent off sale at one of those big department stores, hordes of people go running to buy anything in sight. This is not a pleasant experience for the innocent bystanders who get trampled by a stamped of people who think that spending all their money at a clearance sale is a way to save some cash.

When Tim and Toby went to the mall, they forgot to consider all of that information. In other word, they were the people who were trampled.

"Ow! Ow! That hurt! Hey that's my leg! My leg is not a .placemat! Ow! Ow!" Tim cried in pain.

"Hey! Ow! That guy stole my shoes! Ow!" Toby exclaimed, "Remind me why we came here again? Ow!"

"I don't know! Ow! It was your idea! Ow!" said Tim.

"Oh, I forgot. Ow!" said Toby.

The huge crowd of people went around a bend and out of sight, leaving behind only a cloud of dust.

"Well, it looks like we'll have to buy you some new shoes," said Tim, "Mine are really worn out so I'll need some too."

"Let's try that shoe store over there," said Toby.

They walked over to the store and went inside. Tim walked up to the store clerk.

"Do you have any regular shoes?" he asked.

"Yes, they cost 15,000 coins for a pair," replied the clerk.

"You wouldn't happen to have anything cheaper would you?" Tim asked dejectedly.

"We do carry these shoes that have springs installed in them so that you can launch your self in the air," the clerk replied.

"How much do they cost?" asked Tim.

"Due to lack of demand, they cost 2 coins a pair," the clerk said.

"I'll take two pairs please," said Tim, "Do they have custom color?"

"They come in blue and white or red and white," said the clerk.

"I'll take blue and white!" Toby yelled from across the store.

"Me too," said Tim.

"That will be 4 coins please," said the clerk.

Tim paid the clerk and they left wearing their new shoes. They began to walk toward the food court when Tim noticed the rumbling noise again.

"Uh oh, that can mean only one of two things," said Tim, "Either it means a stamped of hamsters, or…" Tim gulped, "it means… shoppers!!!!!"

"Quickly, get into the fetal position!" Toby exclaimed.

"Are you crazy?!" yelled Tim, "They were just at the golf store! They're wearing cleats!"

"Wait a minute! Let's use these shoes!" Toby said, "5… 4… 3… jump now!!!!"

_Boing! Crash!_ They both went hurtling up into the air and through the ceiling. Then they began to fall.

"Aaaauuuuggggghhhhhh!" they screamed.

As they plummeted back down toward the mall a stunt plane flew overhead. It began to do loops and flips to make letters out of the trail of smoke behind it. The smoke spelled out: **_Don't pollute!_**

Toby pulled his sleeve up to reveal a watch, and then he began to aim it at the plane.

"What are you doing?" asked Tim.

"I'm going to grapple that plane," replied Toby.

"Where did you get a grapple watch?!?!" asked Tim.

"Uh… I know a guy… grab my hand!" said Toby.

Tim grabbed Toby's hand, and Toby fired the grapple hook.

"Crap!" exclaimed Tim, "I just realized that this is obviously doomed to fail!"

And sure enough, something went wrong. The grapple hook zoomed up and got caught in the plane's rotor blade! The plane began to spiral out of control and went into a nose dive.

"Uh oh!" said Toby, "We're still attached to the plane!"

In an instant they were being pulled away.


	17. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the copyrighted, trademarked, patented, or any other type of legally owned things that I might happen to use.**

Chapter 16

At the Saber Tooth gang's secret base, the gang's leader called in one of his minions.

"Minion, I want you to go online and order an information kit on how to take over the world!" the leader said.

"Sir, what's online?" asked the minion.

"The thing that you access from a computer!" the leader said in an aggravated tone.

"Sir, what's a computer?" asked the minion.

"Ugh! Get out of my sight!" yelled the leader, "Go do something useful, like blowing a city up or something!"

"Sir, what does useful mean?" asked the minion.

"Don't you know anything?!" the leader screamed.

"Sir, what does anything mean?" asked the minion.

"I really need a vacation," said the leader.

Meanwhile, Tim and Toby were still being pulled along by the plummeting stunt plane.

"I think I'm going to throw up!" Tim exclaimed.

"Well don't throw up on me!" yelled Toby, "I just had this shirt…"

Before Toby could finish talking, the cord attached to the plane snapped, sending them into a crash course with the ground. _Splat!_ Toby landed in a mud puddle.

"…dry cleaned," Toby finished.

_Plop!_ Tim landed lightly on a pile of leaves that was sitting next to Toby.

"How come you got so lucky?" asked Toby.

"I don't know," said Tim.

_Boing! Thud! Boing! Thud!_ Tim and Toby spun around, looking for what was making the noise. Toby screamed and hid behind Tim.

"It's hideous!" he exclaimed.

"Toby, it's just a fuzzy bunny rabbit," said Toby.

"Oh, that's ok then," said Toby.

"Besides, it already hopped away," said Tim.

"Well then, let's use the map to figure out where we are," said Toby.

"We're in the wilderness," said Tim.

"How did you know that?" asked Toby.

"Well, there's a lot of trees, it's dark, there's a record player playing scary music, and there's a huge neon sign that reads: **_Welcome to the wilderness!_**" said Tim.

"Oh," said Toby.

"Alright, let's go. Be careful, and don't let your guard down," said Tim.

After an uneventful hour of walking, they stopped and sat down.

"I thought that the wilderness was supposed to be full of danger, not bunny rabbits!" Toby said, "Why are these little bunnies hopping around?"

Tim looked around. Sure enough, there were dozens of bunnies hopping around. Then Tim noticed something out of the corner of his eye. He looked in that direction, and saw a building shaped like an Easter basket. In front of it was a sign that read: **_Bunny Daycare_**.

"Alright, this is getting ridiculous," he said.

"Gross! They're peeing on each other!" said Toby.

_Ding! Ding!_ A bell on the daycare building tolled and all the bunnies hopped toward it. As they approached the door, they formed a single file line and then went inside.

"That was weird…" Tim said, "Let's get closer and see if we can figure this out."

They quietly approached the building, going to the side of it. They peered in through a window. They were amazed to see that the inside of the building looked like a standard day care center.

"What the heck is going on here?" said Toby.

The building began to shake and bounce. Tim and Toby stood in awe as the building sank into the ground!

"This is getting weirder and weirder," Toby said.

"Hey!"

They looked around, but saw no one.

"Down here!"

"It's a talking bunny!" Toby screamed as he leapt into a bush to hide.

"I take it you're afraid of bunnies," said the bunny.

"Just the talking ones," Toby said.

"I think it's kind of cool," said Tim, "But I'm confused, how come there aren't any monsters?"

"Well it's because the Easter Bunny decided that bunnies needed a place to live, so he rounded up an army of bunnies and led them into the wilderness to nearly wipe out the population of monsters. So now, the wilderness is where bunnies live," The bunny explained.

"And how did bunnies end up talking?" asked Tim.

"Well, most bunnies actual can speak, but a large part of them chooses not to," the bunny replied, "Oh and by the way, that bush that your friend is hiding in is a popular public restroom."

"That's disgusting!" Toby yelled as he bust out of the bush.

"Come on, I'll show you around," said the bunny.

**Author's note: I hope you enjoted the chapter!**


	18. Chapter 17: Bunny City

**Author's note: I hope you enjoy this chapter, and I would appreciate reviews.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any blah, blah, blah, you know the drill.**

Chapter 17

"Okay," said the bunny, "let me step into this small dressing room for a moment and I'll be right with you."

Tim and Toby were standing in a welcome center in the middle of a city built, and populated, by bunnies.

The door of the dressing room the bunny had entered swung open, and the some bunny re-appeared wearing a blue tour guide hat that had _I love Bunny City_ stitched into it.

"Wait," said Toby, "you went into that dressing room just so you could put on that cheesy hat?"

"Well, do you know how hard it is to fold my ears down and put hair gel on to them down so this hat fits?"

"Is that spelled h-a-r-e gel, or h-a-i-r gel?"

"Very funny, mister wise guy!"

Tim decided this would be a good time to break into their conversation.

"Toby, stop pissing off the bunny." he said.

"Thank you," said the bunny, "by the way my name is Ralph."

"I'm Tim and that's Toby."

"Okay, on with the tour!" said Ralph.

A few minutes later they were riding in a go-kart that read _Bunny City tours _on the side.

Ralph's voice came on an intercom: "Our first stop on the tour will be the technology testing facility."

"Ralph! You don't need to use the intercom! We're sitting right behind you!" said Toby.

"Sorry, I just had it installed and I couldn't resist trying it out."

_Screech!_ The go-kart skidded to a halt in front of a large white building. They exited the go-kart and entered the building. Inside, they saw a conveyor belt on the floor.

"Step this way," said Ralph.

They stepped onto the conveyor belt and it began to move them throughout the building.

"Here we have the food dispenser testing area, and over here," said Ralph, "is the explosives testing area."

"Cool!" said Tim.

"Oh, dear! Hey! Hey Bob! Bob! Don't sit on that whoopee cushion!"

_**Ka-boom!!**_ Flames, debris, and bunny fur flew everywhere behind the glass window. An ambulance, with its sirens wailing, drove up and two bunnies wearing medical clothing took Bob away.

"That's the third time this week Bob has ended up in the hospital." said Ralph.

"Why does he keep coming back to work here?" asked Toby.

"That's a question better left unanswered. Let's head back to the go-kart."

Ralph began driving again and came to a halt in front of a hotel.

"It's getting dark, so we'll finish the tour tomorrow. I made arrangements so you can stay here, and don't worry, we love visitors and were not going to charge you for this."

Tim and Toby entered the hotel and went up to their room for a long nights sleep.

**Author's note: I hope you enjoyed this chapter.**


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